Everyday Superheroes

For many people who lose a family member, the holidays become harder. They mourn family traditions and nothing feels right anymore. For us, this won’t be Thanksgiving or Christmas. We all agree that Halloween and Saint Patrick’s Day will be the toughest without Barb. These were her holidays and she made them ours. I’ve got two guest writers this Halloween, my sister in law, Kristen, and my Dad who explain it best…

from Kristen~ When I was going into labor with Percy, Barb’s third grandchild, we texted the family to let them know that my water had broke. Barb quietly and subtly posted to Facebook a cartoon image of Superwoman and Superman, with their muscles ablaze and their hearts and heads held high. It didn’t say anything about me or how I was in labor but those that were in the know (the Sisters, etc) knew exactly what Barb was trying to say with that message.

Weeks before that, I had received a package from her with Superwoman fabric and a handmade card with Superwoman cutouts and the message “You Got This”. I brought that piece of fabric to the hospital with me and after 30 hours of labor, Percy came into the world on April 5, 2015. And all the while, I knew that I had someone quietly (or loudly!) championing me, telling me that I could do the seemingly impossible task of birthing a human.

For Halloween last year, Percy wanted to be a Superhero. He told BaBa (Barb’s grandma name) that he wanted to be Super Percy and so of course, a few weeks later a “SUPER” box came in the mail. Included in it was a flashy red and blue top with a gold emblem in the middle and small sash on the side and a matching pair of pants. But what made the outfit complete was that there was a big “P” right in the middle of the emblem and a small “p” on the sash. She made the costume for him, exactly what he had wanted. He didn’t want to just be a superhero – he wanted to be his own superhero.

Percy could not have felt more cool with his Super Percy costume. So much so, that over the next year – it was a constant favorite in the house. It mostly felt like it was on more than it was off. Fast forward to this year, 2020 and we purchased a new Spiderman costume at Costco as a complete impulse purchase and Percy was in love with it. I figured that it was going to replace the Super P costume this year. But lo and behold, two mini-celebrations have gone by this Halloween so far and the Baba-made costume is back. The P in the emblem has since fallen by the wayside but it doesn’t matter, he knows who he is. He is Super Percy. And every person that asks about his costume, he answers with “My BaBa made this for me,” with his head held high and feeling invincible.

What makes it even better is that Della, Percy’s sister, has joined in on the Super-ness. She was a Super Girl last year and this year is Super Della. This is how BaBa made each person feel. She left the feeling with little kids that they could be their own superhero – that the powers they had inside themselves were enough. They could be themselves and within that, magical things would happen. Who wouldn’t want to be Super Percy or Super Della, if BaBa had ordained them as such. Her Midas touch, subtle at times helped people believe in themselves.

On a daily basis, my cape and my sash may not be visible but I know having #belikebarb in my heart means that I can raise my head a little bit higher and center my heart in my actions. I know that I am enough, if my intentions are in the right place. I know that I can take off more than I can chew and come out on the other side. I know that I can, at the end of a hard day, a home-cooked meal, a cold drink and a hot bath for the kids can solve anything. Superheroes are the people doing the work, day in and day out to make this world a better place for us all. This was BaBa’s vision – tiny and large superheroes running around having fun together, laughing, voting, advocating, cooking, drinking and doing the things that are within our innate powers as human beings.

from Dad~ We always liked Halloween, Barb way more than me. Back in the old Second street days we would have our greatest Halloween parties, the kind 20-year-olds have with a keg of beer and everyone dressed up. Some you wouldn’t even know who they were- like oddball stuff like a Tylenol capsule [look that one up!]. Years went by and we would still have parties with the kids. I remember one Halloween party, a Raiders of the Lost Ark theme, walking though acorns as hot coals and being so cold that the dry ice we got didn’t steam.

What has always been there was her painted pumpkins. October would start with trying to buy pumpkins and not spend much money. Sometimes Barb would come home so frustrated that they wanted too many dollars for the pumpkins, even if they were little. So we would search down country roads, sometimes out to the Amish area outside of town and we would usually find some successfully priced pumpkins. Then it was time to paint. It was always at least 10 or 20 laid out at a time, they wouldn’t be the big ones. Many were pretty small and a lot of them were gourds. Then she would start the painting. She’d get a can or tube of paint out and hope it wasn’t dried from the last time she used it. Then she might need to have to go out and get some more paint. First she’d do the white base coat for the eyes, done in production style like a factory. Most were happy and funny, not too many scary ones. Then the mouths, ears, funny cheeks, everything always needed an outline. Late nights and kitchen tables full of painted pumpkins. Sometimes she would sell them, most of the time they would be given away to nieces, nephews, sisters and friends. Any appointment we had would certainly be accompanied by a painted pumpkin or two. She really enjoyed that arty crafty time, always with a smile and she was always happy to see the target’s face. It was so much fun.